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Never Lend Me a Book

I’m hard on books. I read them in the bath, dog ear pages (though never write in them), splay them face down. With paperbacks that is. Hardcover usually gets treated better. the old man and the seaBut yesterday I was reading a hardcover of Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea and had to stop myself from dog-earing a favorite passage. A sudden thought struck me—though in pristine condition, the book had been gathering dust in my bookshelf for decades; I checked the copyright page. Sure enough, it was a bona fide first edition. Rare, collectible, and worth many thousands of dollars. Or priceless, depending on point of view. And I came THAT close to ruining it.

In the future I will be a better person.

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Snow joke…’s no joke

Wrote this little joke in honor of all the snow we’ve had this winter:

Front door. Since this was taken another 12" has fallen.

Front door. Since this was taken another 12″ has fallen.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon who?
Armageddon mighty tired OF ALL THIS SNOW!!!!!!!

 

Do I have a future as a joke writer? Or should I keep my day job?

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Why I Don’t Write Poems

In honor of National Poetry month, I bravely post here my very first, and likely last, poem, inspired by Richard Blanco’s wonderful poem for the President’s inauguration, <a title=”One Today” href=”http://www.richard-blanco.com/inaugural-poet/one-today.php”>One Today</a>,  and by his  equally wonderful reading in Portland earlier this month.

Why I Don’t Write Poems

When it came time to pen

his poem about America, fellow

Mainer Richard Blanco wrote about

a school bus “pencil yellow.”

No one asked me to write that ode

but if they had

it would have been a

a school bus “mustard-yellow.”

And that is why

Richard Blanco is a poet

and I…

‘m not.

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